January 14, 2013 - Nice, France

When I Leave this Frail Existence, when I Pass this Mortal by,

Father, mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?

My dear family,

First off, I was not transferred, but Soeur Marker was. Shes headed to Bordeaux right now and my new comp just got here! Her name is Soeur Biecchierri, and yes, she is italian! AND she was just companions with Soeur Bertolio! She is a little ball of energy/enthusiasm/love!!! I will really miss soeur marker. She was so great and so fun and so willing!! OH such a great companion!! I was so sad to say goodbye. Those are the hardest. But I have a good feeling about this italian. She got off the train and went off in french to me! Language transferrrrrr, I can feel it! So exciting!!!!

I was so incredibly sad to hear about grandpa passing away from dad on saturday. I was honestly a little bit of a mess that night. Luckily we were already planning and about to get ready for bed. Grandpa passing away is definitely the saddest thing that has happened to me in a very long time. I know that the whole family has taken it hard, also. Grandpa was an incredible man, an incredible husband to Loretta, an incredible grandpa. I love him so much and am so glad that I have the knowledge of the Gospel to bless and strengthen me in times like these. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. I have seen it in my life countless times; especially in times like these. At home I would have sat around and cried and just been miserable for a few days or so, but not here. Not on a mission. I cant afford that. The people here cant afford that. I pulled myself out of bed on Sunday, got ready for church, did whatever possible to make my eyes less puffy, and ran out the door to catch the 7:56 bus to church, like every other Sunday. I think the hardest part is not being there to help yall get through it, to help Loretta and be there for the funeral. But I feel as though I am very blessed to be out on a mission in times like these, because instead of being sad throughout the day, I have other things that I need to think about and people that I have to serve. It really is true, that serving people helps you become a happier person. Instead of thinking about how grandpa wont be around when I go home, I think about how he is in a much better place with his other family, and that I get to share that with others and I begin looking for people who might need help with something. I pray that everyone who loved grandpa who is grieving will pray to ask for strength and a stronger testimony of the plan of Salvation. I prayed and am continuously praying for that strength to help me get through each day. Although I'm a missionary, everyone can pray for strength and recieve it. I urge yall to look for ways to help others; forget yourself in service, and you will become happier. Its like that mormon message based off the talk, "hope ya know, we had a hard time" http://youtu.be/wz41YxNiHEg

I love you all so much and I know that our Heavenly Father loves you, too. Life is hard, as court said in her email, and that is so true. You have to find reasons to be happy, and during times like these, thats a really hard thing to do. We may not have the ability to make ourselves happy, we may not have the strength to keep pushing forward, but Jesus Christ does. Through the Atonement we can be strong. We can face every challenge that comes our way with courage and love, with capabilities beyond our own comprehension. Jesus Christ knows what we have gone through, what we are going through, and what we will go through. He has suffered everything for us. He knows what it feels like to lose a dad, a grandpa, a spouse. If we will only pray for this strength that he has offered to us, we can be so much more then we ever thought possible. Honestly, though. I am the biggest baby in our family, and I dont think I could have ever dealt with grandpa's death the way that I have. I know that I could have never done that alone. Jesus Christ loves us. He lives. He has given us so much, and we can be so much through His Atonement. Let us continue to strive to be the person we were designed to be, the person grandpa would want us to be.

 I love the lyrics to this song, the one we sang at grandma nila's funeral. I love yall so much and I am so thankful for everything that you do for me. Please know that I love you and pray for you everyday. Have a great week!

love always,

devaneaux

O my Father, thou that dwellest
In the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence
And again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation,
Did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood
Was I nurtured near thy side?

2. For a wise and glorious purpose
Thou hast placed me here on earth
And withheld the recollection
Of my former friends and birth;
Yet ofttimes a secret something
Whispered, "You're a stranger here,"
And I felt that I had wandered
From a more exalted sphere.

3. I had learned to call thee Father,
Thru thy Spirit from on high,
But, until the key of knowledge
Was restored, I knew not why.
In the heav'ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I've a mother there.

4. When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I've completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.