Wednesday, January 8, 2014

La Vie est Belle

Life is cray. I have been thinking this ever since I got home from my mission and had to reevaluate my life and what my new goals were going to be. How I would feel accomplished like I did while serving the people of France. I knew that I wanted to keep that feeling of accomplishment, but how? I had a pretty bad start to my new life after the mission; I slept in way too late, I set goals and disregarded them the next morning, and frankly, I basically failed every goal I had set for myself for the two months of being home.

I am not saying that I was completely unaccomplished, however. I did manage to create a loving relationship with my nephews and picked up where I left off with my parents and sister. I feel as though I can say that my sister and I are "best" friends. Yes, I'm going back to 4th grade and using that term. Along with developing my family relationships, I got to collect my thoughts and rethink everything until I was over it. I learned how to be completely content with having almost no friends, let alone social life. I learned how to find beauty in life even when, in the eyes of the world, you have no chance of having that.

In a sense I felt as though I could have written my own version of "Walden"; away from the world, tucked away behind evergreens and hay fields, being able to understand the meaning of life in the 22 year old, year 2014 stance. I did not decide what to do with my life when it came to a major, I didn't find my future spouse, and I still suck at getting up early, but I feel much more at peace with the craziness of life and the great adventures that it holds in my future. I have come to find that life is beautiful and unexpected, that we get what we put into it, and that our Heavenly Father loves us more then we can even imagine. 

Now I'm back in school, trying to find my way in the bustling crowd of overdone girls and flannel-wearing yet clean shaven boys. Sometimes it's difficult to see where you're going through the mess of people and things, but I know that whatever is in my path I will be able to endure, because I have confidence in myself and in my God.

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